Today marks one year since the death of a dear, dear friend. Misty is often on my mind, but this week it became that much more real. She really is gone and she really isn’t coming back.
On one hand, I know that she is in a better place. She is dancing with Jesus; her smile is illuminating the halls of heaven; she is at peace – a peace she wasn’t able to find here on Earth, a peace she believed she never would.
On the other hand, despite knowing that she is in a better place, there are many days I still believe that I need her – and so do SO many other people, especially her family. It’s when my thoughts take this path that I begin to question, wonder, and sometimes I can’t help but get angry. At whom – I’m not entirely sure; maybe at Misty, maybe at God, maybe at every single person who ever hurt her, maybe at myself because I could have done more… or maybe I simply get angry because she isn’t here.
Today has been one of those wondering days. But tonight I am choosing to celebrate her memory instead of focusing on her absence. Tonight I celebrate that God brought Misty into my life at the perfect time, all of those years ago. Tonight I celebrate the seemingly unending wisdom she possessed that she shared so generously. Tonight I celebrate her contagious smile that touched the hearts of everyone she met. Tonight I celebrate the support she was able to offer me on my journey to recovery. Tonight I celebrate all of the many lives that she changed. Tonight I celebrate the angel that Misty has always been.
Misty has left a legacy of love; I pray for her son & daughter every day – that they would always remember the immeasurable, unlimited, and unconditional love she had for them.
So, tonight, through tears – I sit and smile knowing that Misty is in the arms of her heavenly father. And I am here on Earth, left with much – but able to focus on what she taught me and showed me with the way that she lived her life.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideation, please seek help. Someone is available at the numbers below 24/7.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
National Hopeline Network: