As of yesterday, she’s been gone four years. She left far too soon. No one knew how much she was hurting, and we are left praying that she did know how much she was truly loved.
It’s hard to write about Misty; for obvious reasons, and also because I wasn’t someone who was closest to her. I can’t speak for or fathom how these past four years have been for her parents, her kids, her siblings, and all of her family and best friends. What I can do is speak for myself. Misty changed my life, and I miss her everyday. Other than my mom, she was the first one I told about my eating disorder. She wrote me while I was away in treatment, she always loved, supported and encouraged me – even in the littlest ways, like writing something to me on Facebook. Facebook memories have become one of my best friends, because at least once a month I’ll get a little reminder of just how special Misty was. Below is a note from her that I can’t read without tears in my eyes, and I read it whenever I need to remember that I have indeed come a long way, I am worthy, and I am loved.
Today, I only wish she could have spoken these same words into her own heart.
The common phrase is “committed suicide”, but it is the wrong phrase. Misty didn’t “commit” a crime, she didn’t do anything wrong. She simply did what seemed like her only option; she died by suicide. She didn’t want to leave her kids & all those who loved her. Suicide took her. Depression took her. The lies in her head telling her that the pain would never go away, and that everyone else would be better off without her… they took her.
Talking with her parents, who have become so special to me – they thanked me for remembering her. And honestly I was taken aback, of course I’m going to remember her, as will so many others. She changed my life forever, there is no way that I will ever forget her.
As tragic, challenging and confusing as her death was, it doesn’t impact the legacy she has left behind. Her smile, joy, encouragement and positivity will be remembered by all who knew her. Always.
Here’s to Misty, and remembering her forever. RIP. ❤